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Wednesday, June 25th, 2003
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9:14 am
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[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<small<small>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <center><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" border="1" style="text-align: left; width: 500px;" bgcolor="#ddddff"> <tbody><tr align="center"><td style="vertical-align: top;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><font size="+1"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/the_emperor"><img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" border=0>the_emperor</a><small<small>'s</small></small> <a href="http://euthanize.us/memes/lj-slut-meme/">Statiscal Analysis of the Empire</a></font></span><br> The below percentages indicate what <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/the_emperor"><img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" border=0>the_emperor</a> has done with <lj user=the_empire>.<br></td></tr><tr><td style="vertical-align: top;"><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" style="text-align: left; width: 100%;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle;">Promoted</td><td style="vertical-align: middle; width: 320px; text-align: center;"><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" style="text-align: left; width: 320px;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align: top; width: 135px; background-color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"></td><td style="vertical-align: top;"><br></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td style="width: 50px; vertical-align: middle; text-align: left;">42.1%<br></td></tr><tr><td style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle;">Demoted</td><td style="width: 320px; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;"><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" style="text-align: left; width: 320px;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align: top; width: 118px; background-color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"></td><td style="vertical-align: top;"><br></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td style="width: 50px; text-align: left; vertical-align: middle;">36.8%</td></tr><tr><td style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle;">Electrocuted</td><td style="width: 320px; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;"><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" style="text-align: left; width: 320px;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align: top; width: 84px; background-color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"></td><td style="vertical-align: top;"><br></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td style="width: 50px; text-align: left; vertical-align: middle;">26.3%</td></tr><tr><td style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle;">Banished</td><td style="width: 320px; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;"><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" style="text-align: left; width: 320px;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align: top; width: 67px; background-color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"></td><td style="vertical-align: top;"><br></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td style="width: 50px; text-align: left; vertical-align: middle;">21.1%</td></tr><tr><td style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle;">Ejected Into Space</td><td style="width: 320px; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;"><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" style="text-align: left; width: 320px;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align: top; width: 84px; background-color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"></td><td style="vertical-align: top;"><br></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td style="width: 50px; text-align: left; vertical-align: middle;">26.3%</td></tr><tr><td style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle;">Shot In Reno, Just To Watch Them Die</td><td style="width: 320px; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;"><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" style="text-align: left; width: 320px;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align: top; width: 118px; background-color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"></td><td style="vertical-align: top;"><br></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td style="width: 50px; text-align: left; vertical-align: middle;">36.8%</td></tr><tr><td style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle;">Played Pong With</td><td style="width: 320px; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;"><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" style="text-align: left; width: 320px;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align: top; width: 67px; background-color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"></td><td style="vertical-align: top;"><br></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td style="width: 50px; text-align: left; vertical-align: middle;">21.1%</td></tr><tr><td style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle;">Invited Over For Dinner</td><td style="width: 320px; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;"><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" style="text-align: left; width: 320px;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align: top; width: 84px; background-color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"></td><td style="vertical-align: top;"><br></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td style="width: 50px; text-align: left; vertical-align: middle;">26.3%</td></tr><tr><td style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle;">Called, Just To Say "Hi"</td><td style="width: 320px; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;"><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" style="text-align: left; width: 320px;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align: top; width: 135px; background-color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"></td><td style="vertical-align: top;"><br></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td style="width: 50px; text-align: left; vertical-align: middle;">42.1%</td></tr><tr><td style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle;">Never Wants To See Again</td><td style="width: 320px; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;"><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" style="text-align: left; width: 320px;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align: top; width: 84px; background-color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"></td><td style="vertical-align: top;"><br></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td style="width: 50px; text-align: left; vertical-align: middle;">26.3%</td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr align="center"><td style="vertical-align: top;"><a href="http://euthanize.us/memes/lj-slut-meme/"><big>What are your LiveJournal Slut Stats?</big></a><br>Sponsored via <a href="http://adultfriendfinder.com/go/p47465c"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Adult Friend Finder</span></a>. Keep this meme and others like it checking it out or getting <a href="http://adultfriendfinder.com/go/p47465c"><span style="font-weight: bold;">free account</span></a>! You may <a href="http://adultfriendfinder.com/go/p47465c">meet the match of your dreams!</a></td></tr></tbody> </table></center>
current music: The Nails - 88 Lines About 44 Women
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(6 Servants | Serve The Dark Side)
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| Friday, June 20th, 2003
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2:55 pm
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"Liven your step!" she bellowed at the lagging stormtrooper. "I will not tolerate your clumsy promenade! If I see you fall out of formation once more, I promise that you will be immediately reassigned to the coldest, darkest, most remote outpost in the Outer Rim!"
Order and respect throughout the fleet has risen to new heights since the promotion of our newest Grand Moff. She learned well from her meantor, Tarkin: fear prompts order.
current music: W.A. Mozart's "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik"
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(14 Servants | Serve The Dark Side)
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| Thursday, October 31st, 2002
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3:30 pm
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Mid-Life Crisis: I want to be a rodeo star. This takes a lot of practice...
current music: Khachaturian's Sabre Dance
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(10 Servants | Serve The Dark Side)
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| Thursday, May 30th, 2002
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6:37 am
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| Monday, May 27th, 2002
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3:47 pm
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| Friday, April 5th, 2002
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6:15 am
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| Saturday, March 2nd, 2002
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3:06 pm - This Is Very Important
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| Friday, February 22nd, 2002
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11:44 pm - Old Buddies
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| Thursday, February 21st, 2002
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11:09 pm - Wayne Palpatine, Reigning Emperor
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Hey gang, I'm back from another trip to Kessel... ya know... same old same old.
I'm gonna tell you a little about me... it's Me Time today.
I usually just have my friends call me The Emperor or my last name, Palpatine, but before I became the Totally Supreme Leader Of The Galactic Empire everyone just called me by my first name, Wayne.
Darth and I drank a lot of Budweiser, smoked a lot of pot, listened to a lot of Aerosmith... good times. I knew even then, though, that I'd conquer the whole world... so I made this hat that says I owned the whole world... it says "Wayne's World"... Here's a picture of me and Darth hanging out back in the day.
That's me on the left, Wayne, owner of the world... and that's Darth on the right.
Yeah, we used to have a lot of fun before we got so busy exterminating Jedis, destroying planets, opressing the galaxy, etc. Every now and then, though, we'll hang out like we used to. We crank up "Janie's Got A Gun" in my throne room and headbang with my guards! Sometimes we'll still say "Schwing!" when we turn on our lightsabers, too. Heheheh.
Oh, and there was this one time Darth's kid came over and he showed me his lightsaber.
I was like "Hi, welcome to Wayne's World, I'm the owner of the universe, Wayne, and with me as always is Garth... I mean Darth... yeah..." Luke was all like "Cool. Hey check out this badass lightsaber I made!" So I was like "Okay. Wow... this is most excellent! Party on!" And Darth was like "Party on, Wayne" and I was like "Party on, Garth, I mean Darth! Party on!"
current mood:  cheerful
current music: Aerosmith - Dream On
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(16 Servants | Serve The Dark Side)
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| Thursday, February 14th, 2002
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6:25 am - Happy Valentine's Day
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NOT!!!
It's Valentine's Day and I don't have a date. :( You'd think, being ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) the_emperor I'd have foxxxy mama's beeping me all the time with booty calls... but no. I'm just chillin' by myself in my throneroom... watchin' Iron Chef repeats... whatever...
So, I made a new icon. Whaddaya think? *nods and pretends to listen*
current mood:  sad
current music: Gridlock - Edit397
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(14 Servants | Serve The Dark Side)
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| Sunday, February 10th, 2002
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3:55 am - Paul Sux
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So, yeah, dv already told about the Imperial Rave, but he was drunk and biased cuz... um... Tarkin "forgot" to give him an invite. Anyway. I dunno who we put in charge of organizing the DJs but somebody got fucking Paul Van Dyk. Fuck Paul Van Dyk. He's DJing some boring trance euro pop shit... some fucking Darude or something, and I'm like "Paul. Dood. Cool it with the euro pop shit. We're the fucking Empire, we don't want that lightweight bullshit. Play some fucking maschine music, asshole. We want some M. Stav?strand or something, but if you must play trance at least make it, like, Lasgo's 'Something (Club Mix)' or something cool. I mean... Paul, you're fucking lame. Sorry, dood."
And then he started to cry and was like "I do it for the music, man, can't you respect my music?" and I'm like "Pfft. Fuck no. Your music is garbage."
And he ran away so I had to do something but all I had was his lame-ass lightweight shit. That's why dv thinks I suck at DJing... cuz I was using Paul's lame-ass records and gear. Fuck Paul Van Dyk. Asshole.
current mood: pissed off at Paul
current music: Amber Asylum - Dream
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(9 Servants | Serve The Dark Side)
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2:20 am
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Hey gang, I'm back. I've been busy with running The Empire and stuff. I get called away on business every once in a while. Speaking of running The Empire, I made a community for my loyal servants... ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) the_empire. I'm still fixing everything for it, but go ahead and join. :)
current mood:  productive
current music: Hybrids - Alchemy
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(2 Servants | Serve The Dark Side)
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| Tuesday, January 29th, 2002
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7:52 pm - Not Again
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| Monday, January 28th, 2002
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9:13 am
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| Saturday, January 26th, 2002
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8:49 pm - Attention People
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7:29 am - Name The System
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In space...
... no one can hear you come out of hyperdrive within firing range of the planet Earth in the system Sol.
Can you name another target? A military target? Name the system.
current mood:  giddy
current music: Strauss - Thus Spake Zarathustra
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(5 Servants | Serve The Dark Side)
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| Friday, January 25th, 2002
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7:02 am - Jeopardy
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One of the benefits of being the supreme ruler of the evil empire that governs the entire universe is that you can get a spot on Celebrity Jeopardy anytime you want. And win. And keep the money, instead of giving it to one of those bullshit charities like the Ronald McDonald house or whatever. I completely kicked ass, winning 99,999 credits (the maximum possible score).
"I'd like 'Destroying Your Fucking Homeworld' for 1000, Alex."
current mood: working
current music: The Imperials - Back In The E.M.P.I.R.E.
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(7 Servants | Serve The Dark Side)
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| Thursday, January 24th, 2002
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6:00 pm - Good times.
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Look what I found in storage! Our first album! Maybe you heard of us.
There's me on the left, then Tarkin, Vader, and below him is some stormtrooper named Ringo. Our manager said that our target demographic (females age 1 to 900 years old) found the number 4 most pleasing, and having a stormtrooper in the band gave our personalities more diversity, so we let Ringo play drums. Whatever.
So yeah, tell me your what favorite Imperials song is.
current mood:  nostalgic
current music: The Imperials - I Am The Emperor
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(9 Servants | Serve The Dark Side)
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5:39 pm - I Took Another Test
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6:56 am - Skele-motherfucking-tor
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Let me tell you about my old pal Skeletor. We go way back. I knew him in High School and now we're all wrinkly and shit, that's how long I've known him. We'd do evil teenager shit like T.P. the principal's yard, scratch our keys against the prom king's Chevy Impala, and shit like that. In my rise to power as supreme ruler of the universe I gave him his own planet called Eternia but there's this half-naked dood named He-Man that keeps fucking shit up. Whatever, I let Skeletor run shit his own way. It's not like He-Man can fly a starship, so he never fucks with The Empire. He-Man ain't no Jedi, that's for sure. I mean, he doesn't even have a lightsaber. He's small-time, destined for nowheresville. Skeletor will have He-Man on lock-down real soon. I have forseen it.
Anyway, here's a pic of my homeboy Skeletor and his... uh... "assistant" Evil Lyn.
Skeletor has such a cool fashion sense. He's almost as chic as me, but not quite. Evil Lyn's one foxy mama. We had a thing once... you know... an affair... but it just didn't work out. She's too independent for a domineering impresario like me.
Skeletor knows a little Sith stuff but the Force just isn't too strong with him. He can zap assholes, though.
Anyhoo, that's my homeboy Skeletor. Tell him I said "Hi" if you ever meet him.
current mood:  okay
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(2 Servants | Serve The Dark Side)
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the_emperor